Bad Luck Ben
Ben Simmons has bad luck. Like Keith From “Good Times” bad luck. Like broke a mirror 7 years of bad luck, bad luck. Like getting with Halle Berry, only to find out she is crazy and probably has halitosis and body odor, bad luck. Ben Simmons has been sold to us sports fans as the best basketball player since Bow Wow got those special shoes in “Like Mike.” Presumptive number 1 overall pick in this year’s draft. And we are conditioned to believe that great players rise above their circumstances and lift their teams to victory anyway possible.
Then Ben went to LSU…and they didn’t even play in the NIT.
(They need to go on Maury)
And just when you wanted to cheer him on and say, “Well next year he won’t have to deal with this”, Philadelphia wins the draft lottery and they are very likely to draft him. I feel bad for Ben. What did he do to deserve this? He must didn’t “type Amen” on one of those Facebook posts. It’s bad enough that he looks exactly like Sam Bowie, considered to be top 5 in Draft Bust History. Now he has to go to Philly.
Philly has been the league’s doormat. A punchline. The 76ers are the Washington Generals of the NBA. Hell, the only person who took more “L’s” than the 76ers over the past 2 seasons is Meek Mill…and HE IS FROM PHILLY. Bill Cosby is from Philly. Even the Fresh Prince mama saw this coming and sent her son to California years ago. Philadelphia is like the new Cleveland. It’s the black hole of winning. 
And now he is going to have to go there and endure that dysfunction. Why, Philly, Why? Allen Iverson did not die for you all to be this bad…
He didn’t die? He is still alive? Oh…
Well you get what I mean. Well at least he will have his massive shoe contract to wipe his tears because he definitely won’t be winning in Philly. Is it too late to go back to college? Just a thought…I’d rather play another year for free than play for Philly…Nah I am lying. But damn…Philly?
TK
(Special Thanks for my friends over at Basketball and BS Podcast for some of the great memes you see.)